On March 5th at 12:02pm we welcomed our son Tekoa into the world. I remember sitting on the chair in the hospital room, overwhelmed with thankfulness; why would God be so gracious to give us this gift of a son? As the next few weeks came and went my life began to change in a couple ways.
Becoming a father brings a whole different perspective to life. I no longer roll my eyes at the parents of the crying kid on the airplane. After being in Kohls shopping one day, I understand what it is like to have a kid who wants the whole store to hear his scream. I see people differently, I understand parents a bit more, and I begin to grasp the responsibility of caring for someone who can’t care for themselves. I read the account of Abraham and Issac and it becomes much more complicated. I wrestle with my own heart and wonder what would I have done? Life experiences have a way of opening our eyes to a perspective we may have been blinded to. These experiences attack our pride and lead us into humility. Becoming a father has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life.
As I read the Scriptures anew as a father my heart resonates with God’s fatherly love. I have understood biblical love as a choice and commitment, to love people without conditions. This love is originated in God, empowered by God, and displayed for God’s glory. I am learning that this love means changing diapers, listening to the child you love cry for endless hours with no way to help, and supporting my wife through the emotional roller coaster of becoming a mom. I am experiencing the depth of feeling that this love produces. There is a joy that causes me to share pictures of my son with strangers, a desire that leads me to my knees in prayer for him, and a weight that causes me to provide for him. I know how to define love but I am learning more and more how to live love.
My son just started to smile. As parents we make weird noises and faces at him to try to get him to smile. His joy brings us immense joy. God may not make weird noises or faces at us but he does pour out his love and grace into our life. His love is unsearchable, it is so deep that we constantly dive deeper into it. Our joy in Him brings him joy. Father God, open up our eyes to see with a fresh perspective, to know more of your love, and to live with the joy that is found in you.